#i'm going back to bed. good night
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
it's so significant to me that do you believe in miracles paralleled all hell breaks loose specifically. because ahbl is the first time dean violates sam's autonomy to bring him back to life. it shows the extreme lengths that dean will go to protect sam, and despite all the other times dean has ignored sam's personhood in his pursuit to keep him alive, this is the moment in the show that fully exemplifies just how codependent these two really are, because there's an entire season dedicated to the consequences of that codependency.
so for dybim to take that imagery and scenario and reverse the roles means that this is supposed to be just as indicative of their codependence. it's a threshold that will have major consequences because sam crossed over the point of no return. there's no going back from choosing unhealthy codependency with your brother, the show is signaling. dean is sam's ultimate decision—he doesn't choose himself, he doesn't choose independence, he chooses dean, and all that that entails. he probably only realizes that all of his posturing about autonomy was a lie at the very moment he says it out loud, but once he's finally honest with himself it's a done deal. just like dean can never go back from his deal for sam's life, sam can never return to any point before this moment. he's in this relationship for good, and he wants to be codependent with dean; that's his decision.
and this is why soul survivor hurts so bad. because dean, like sam in season 9, declares that they're not family, not brothers. the role reversal continues, and sam is now suffering all of the pains he unwittingly put dean through by trying to maintain boundaries between them. now that he's realized he can't handle having those boundaries, any distance between him and dean is too much. here sam is, violating dean's autonomy and saving him against his will, just like dean has done to him so many times before. here he is, listening to dean reject him over and over again, like a parody of all sam's attempts to extricate himself from dean. he's on the other side now, staring down his brother and seeing his past self within him.
9.23 to 10.03 is just a speedrun of the previous 8 seasons but in reverse, with sam enduring the suffering of being in dean's position. and how tragic is it for sam to finally commit to his codependent relationship with dean, only for dean to leave him the moment it happens? how must that feel, for him to finally return his brother's feelings in all their toxic and fucked up glory, only to lose him in the worst way? to have all of his own words shouted back at him with the cruel intent to hurt—jesus christ. how am i supposed to cope with this in any normal way?
#supernatural#wincest#this isn't even beginning to touch on the actual content of the 10.03 exchange. i could write another essay on the mention of john alone#seriously this role reversal shit has poisoned my brain. i'm NOT okay about this#if i could get a phd in the emotional plot of supernatural seasons 8-10 i would actually#this show IS so good at the big picture. it fucks up the small stuff so bad but the overarching meaning and plot is genuinely good#the parallels and reversals and mirroring in s8-10 are seriously evocative and poignant. and for what#it's 6am. my dogs woke me up at 4:30 to pee and i've been thinking about this nonstop ever since#how could they do this to me#the significance of dean being the one to throw away the family just when sam finally embraces it. jesus christ#and the fact that he has to be a demon to do that too#i'm so sick. nauseous over this. fuck#i'm going back to bed. good night#.txt#the winchester gospel#spn posting#9.23#2.22#10.03
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
409 notes
·
View notes
Text
More dude and bruh texts
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Cross Sans#Epic Sans#Kross ship#Kinda? Implied maybe?#These two share a bed regardless of relationship. I've just decided#Maybe implied krepic? Because Wick is in my head lol#Epic's collection of pictures of Killer sleeping on Cross grows#He has a whole album on his phone and if Cross knew he would probably combust#Anyway I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep and my brain would NOT let go of this idea#Drawing this like I'm exorcising the thought out of my head lol#Epic doesn't wanna sleep because nightmares but he does wanna use his bro like a bodypillow real quick#Killer's doing it like every night he must be missing something#Speaking of. Nightmare did see and he does not care#He thinks nothing of sharing a bed because they all do it constantly so this must be normal#His reaction was ''oh good you can wake Killer and tell him too''#And assumes the immense embarrassment coming off Cross is cause he got caught sleeping#TW suicide#Cross is just being dramatic but y'know just to be safe#This is the 3rd thing I've started drawing that involves Killer and Cross and cuddling#I need to finish and post the other two still but this is becoming a pattern lol#Anyway I have to do a shot of cold medicine and go be at work 🎉
168 notes
·
View notes
Text
let's talk abt hua cheng and the way his entire *almost* existence relates back to xie lian cuz it's been my current roman empire, his name having the word 'hua' which means 'flower' can be seen as relating to xie lian's god name (the flower crowned martial god), also he's called crimson rain sought flower cuz he was shielding a lone white flower (also represents xie lian) from the blood rain (he can be the said 'flower' in that rain too actually), that red coral pearl on his hair braid ? it belongs to xie lian, that red string tied around his finger, xie lian tied strands of his hair around that finger which represents marriage and ofc the red-string-of-fate soulmate trope, he has xie lian's name tattooed on him in his terrible writing, made an entire city just so his love can come there and rest and build a temple there so he can worship him and remained his only devotee when xl lost everything (that thing abt gods being in existence as long as there is someone to worship them) he gave up on becoming a god cuz then who will be worshipping his god ?? isn't afraid to show his true form to xl which he never did to anyone, destroyed those thirty three gods cuz they ridiculed his gege, took lqq along with him to qi rong's den so he can clear the false accusations even if xl didn't want him to CUZ YOU WILL NAWT BE HATING HIS DIANXIA OVER THINGS HE NEVER DID i mean his entire existence is because xie lian said 'if you can't find any reason to live, make me your reason to live' and oh isn't that level of devotion and love so devastating ?
#this doesn't mean that hc isn't his own person and have his own personality but most importantly he's his gege's fav person ^^#i remember once xl said ' it's been a while someone listened to me won't you stay ' to hc and OH I LOVE THEM#guys i love hua cheng so much idk if i want to be like him or be with someone like him :(#and i rarely call him san lang cuz that's a name only his gege is allowed to call him by and I feel like I'm intruding#hualian my roman empire every other week ever since i read tgcf back in 2021#I'm writing this before going to bed hope hualian blesses me in my dreams and my exams go well tmrw#okay good night hualian forever 🗣️#tgcf#heaven officials blessing#tian guan ci fu#san lang#hua cheng#hualian#xie lian#heaven official's blessing#mxtx#crimson rain sought flower#mo xiang tong xiu#hualian meta#tgcf meta
350 notes
·
View notes
Text
Congratulations on nothing. I'm back to drawing LoV again after a bit of a break
those are mostly just a redraw practice for fun Toga is a try in "more canon way of drawing" with color practice too
I'm sorry that it's in russian because I have to have some will to localize jokes that came into my head while drawing it
it's like... a robot au??? or something, mostly just a joke "what if AFo just built Tenko and changed what he wanted"
and this is a joke about our 'favorite' 419 plot twist so it's basically just a bunch of joked about AFO failing to get any way to get control instead Tenko's head is not empty. It downloaded games, friends and stuff about being a hero but NOT as a literal hero, more on "villains need help I'm a hero then" way
and yes that text behind is "hands" written all over the place bc I wanted to add hands in handwritten form
#fanart#sketch#bnha#my art#toya todoroki#dabi#toga himiko#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#mha fanart#kinda robot au#I love drawing Tenko in this “I have no thoughts” eyes I always wonder what was his life back in that period#I have a lot of questions#but sadly it's not plot relevant so no info for us#:( sigh#alrightI'll do it myself >:( as many others did#but I like to think of that period with gloves or the mix of time without them but before he got a new name#I just want to understand how to write him#I know how but the little one#he's not like a normal kid and not a just trauma kid too#I hate how I'm slowly getting obsessed again and it already made me cry like 5 times bc I'm like THEY'RE DEADDDD *cries*#and 5 mins later oh! FUN THEY'RE ALIVE AND WELL bc I just turned on MVA#MVA anime is my guilty plesure I feel like home in a way that a place that is not home is home but home not comfy but familiar#plus it doesn't feel like an anime after so many rewatches it's like oh those guys are trying again I love that#still thinking of some of the topics I want to write about#but not rn I'm going to bed good night#also I thought of Toga's talk with Ochako she's still right#I tried to bottle up my emotions and feelings about LoV and today I had like an obsession with them without a break#because I missed liking them so much
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
i drew this because i want those converses and i decided to use that valentine's day is coming up as an excuse for the pink and heart theme lol
#honestly at this point i'm just putting wataru in clothes that i want to wear#and i draw his hair longer and fluffier each time i draw him lmao#it's so funny to me to go back to how i first drew him because i drew his hair so short lol#initial d#wataru akiyama#wataru <3#my art#faded art#also i love how twi and i pretty much said we're going to use wataru as a dress up doll lmao#i also recorded a speedpaint for once so i might mess around and post that later if ppl want to see it#also pls look at the hands and the perspective on the shoes i tried lol#i had way too much fun drawing this but it took me like three days to actually post it once it was finished lol#good night ppl i'm going to bed now
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just finished episode 29 of Monster; Johan is finally putting in the work and upping that kill count. There has been a noticeable lack of Dr. Tenma sightings.
#:'^(#he'll probably be back the next episode (i'm coping). i'm going to bed. good night!#maine posting
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
got my cats 2 bags of different cat treats for Christmas that were a bit more expensive. and one of my cats doesn't like either of them. because of course she doesn't.
#got my cats a water fountain too and one of them immediately took to it and the other won't look at it#and you're never going to believe this. but it's the same cat that doesn't want the treats#fine. you like the same old things that work for you. new things are scary. understood.#I will buy new things for your sister and the same old things for you in the future#said cat is currently hard against my back slightly using my pillow#you sleep in this bed like you pay rent#whatever. good night. don't fsrt in your sleep.#if I wake up at 3am to a gas cloud you can keep the bed I'm taking the couch
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i want endo to be my weighted blanket
#wait no i take it back#he couldn't stay still for long and it'd bother me#i move around in my sleep but he is never still#not for a single second#u can't even tell when he's asleep bc he falls asleep while he's turning and tossing#at first it's just him trying to get comfortable and then the next he's snoring while he moves around#☆— yapping#anyways i'm going bed now#good night beloveds <33
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
yay feeling Weird. I think it's time for bed now.
#delete later#the you're waste of space thoughts are trying to come back so I'm ignoring them. and going to bed. so there. nyeh.#good night people. pleasant dreams#if you have church tomorrow don't stay up too late
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
goodnight everyone
#emptying thoughts#not really good night i'm going to take a shower and then not go back on tumblr#i usually go to sleep around an hour from now#but im also trying to get to bed earlier#sometimes i love sleep and sometimes i hate it#today is a love day :3#hopefully
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
good morning and merry christmas !! aesthetic photo of my cookies be upon ye
#just me hi#i put them on the plate and then the little devil and my shoulder said Hey what if we spent the next 20+ minutes editing it#and they were right that was fun lmfvshgh#Except for looking for a glitter brush on ibis! why are all the thumbnails so blurry it hurts my eyes Ghfksfjvk#yea the phone is working out good :) i'm gonna be taking pictures of everything now ehehehgh#also forgot to eat these for the 20+ minutes i was playing w/ the pictures#my breakfastttt: (went to go count but i have eaten some now. ouh) ✋10 🤚 christmas cookies :3#they're little ones- oh hey these pretzel one are kinda salty! yaaay#i like the swirly/horseshoe ones the most though. nyum#/we have pozole my mom made last night but i think that has to be warmed up hfhsvh#we got back from christmas midnight mass and everyone- Everyone (crazy) went to bed as soon as we got home lmfhvshg#i don't think that's ever happened. usually a couple are still awake until dawn and Then they go to sleep lol#yea but we didn't even get to try to the pozole last night <//3 helped to strain it last night though :D it smelled kinda sweet+spicy so ou#//we're waiting til i think friday or saturday for presents this year because of the Events so noo wrapping cleaning today 🎉💥 kfsvh#and i've been asked what i wanted. see i don't have that trouble of suddenly not having a want in the world: i just kinda don't have that#already for some reason lmao ?? so yea default state. do you think i'll get socks kfshvfh#//do love having to go back into my tags and add the topic slash bc every topic is related All the time Forever lmfsh#//hey but i DO need socks HEY i'm not joking anymore. don't want any with patterns though they will bother me lol#cuz unless i like the patterns i am not going to wear them :/ that is unless i think they're silly then they pass#are they holiday-themed? i'll prolly still wear them during the fourth of july so we can guarantee 1 whole day of use lhfshvjg#however during the warmer days (anything above 55 degrees) i wear chanclas w/o socks. so maybe not so much guaranteed#and also if i can't find it's match i will just never wear it again. truly tragic#i'm painstakingly matching my plain white socks i can Not handle patterned socks again#/wait was this post about cookies. dude how did we get here Lmfjvskfhvahfhvj#//Okay i'm gonna ummm#Ummmmmmmm#uuuuhm. draw :3 Toodles !! merry christmas !! <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#was gonna pierce my lip but I realized I lost all the caps to my barbell piercings and I didn't even realize. I'm so fuckin mad#now I have to get more#idk if I can just get the screw on heads. idk what mm size they are#anyway. bone broth is successful. it's been slow cooking all day and looks and smells good. it's gonna make for hella nutritious soup base.#also I've been hunting down Spanish vocab audio because that's how I learn best.#listening to more language transfer and adding music to my Spanish playlist.#still definitely not conversational but my comprehension is going up quite a bit.#I had a grumpy Russian man come through my lane today and the desire to communicate better was so strong.#I just wanna learn all the languages.#I just need to find more resources that work for my brain.#I have a Spanish vocab book and I hardly touch it. duolingo sucks for me. I hate Rosetta Stone.#but there's resources out on the internet I just have to find them and use them.#there's a few good ones on Spotify I've found. as much as I hate Spotify conceptually for music artists it's still a resource I can use.#as much as I don't wanna apply for new jobs I don't wanna work in the same place next year when we move.#I still really wanna try food service. my speech has gotten way better and my stutter is almost never present#so job interviews should be way easier to pull off. I hope. I really hope.#I really wanna get back into nursing but idk if we're moving early enough for me to get into a cna certification class for spring semester.#I really should email the local community college and find out if I can pull off a late start or jump into a class already partway through.#I could look that up right now actually. find out when classes start there and how much I would be missing.#because I've passed the certification before it shouldn't be hard to jump in partway through I think.#hah. I'm so competent. I just looked up the information right now. there's an adult education center where I'm moving that offers the course#but not until halfway through spring.#so I could work food service for the spring and then switch to cna after.#I'm medicated so it's entirely possible and feasible. I have the ability.#hmmm. if I'm going into nursing maybe I should reconsider the lip piercing? hmmmm.#I can just let it heal over if it's an issue.#plenty of time between now and then.#anyway I'm going to bed good night.#well. maybe going to bed.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry, i was reading up on anxiety vs. panic attacks, then i got distracted by lads, and now it's 2 am and i really gotta get to bed :( i'll see y'all in the morning though -- good night!! mmmmwah!!
#you know going back and rereading that open starter i wrote it's reminding me of that scene in ohshc when haruhi's hiding in that#wardrobe bc of the thunderstorm#and i'm going to be thinking about that and about chiyo while i wash my face and head to bed#asdfgh good night friends <3#get ready to ramble | ooc
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
bro, how do you even come up with these aus?? like it's wild! but seriously i'd love to read more about 1800s cowboy bakugou and reader one day when/if you post more!! 😘 hope you're staying safe and healthy and life is treating you well <33
dude. i wish i could tell you LOL i have no idea where they come from, they just plague me always akjflaj it's a good thing i have an outlet here because i have had 24-25ish years of keeping my creative brain to myself and now i'm FREEEEEEE. so you all have to suffer from it 🤗✨
but !! thank you !! i'm glad they have so far been appealing LOL i just want grumpy cowboy bakugou 😭 that wants to be respectful to his late mentor 😭 but finds his widowed wife so sweet and kind and can't help but want for that, too 😭 WAAAHHH i should write more of it, but here are some bits i have right now he he
+
#he's soooooo akshfakhak#takes off his hat when you come in the room 🥺#he tries so hard not to look at you 🥺#but you're both spending day and night working on the ranch 🥺#going to bed late exhausted#eating dinner together in the candle light#whispering good nights from down the hall 🥺#also i'm literally imagining a notebook-esque scene where you are arguing in the rain and you storm back in the house and he follows you an#kisses you so hard akhfkahfgak#i wanna fight him#i cherish you anon !!! thank you for being sweet !!! 🥺#i hope that your life is treating you just as kindly !!!#✿ willow writes#✿ ask willow#✿ theme: cowboy bakugou
31 notes
·
View notes